I can’t believe how long its been since I last wrote, this past month has been crazy and nothing what I expected. The good news is I am PREGNANT! Today I am 9 weeks 5 days with one healthy baby boy, such a blessing. I had my transfer on the 19th and I got my first positive pregnancy test 5 days later. I then went in to get my blood taken to confirm pregnancy 10 days after transfer. When I was nearly 6 weeks I went in for my second ultrasound and they found a large blood clot, thankfully the baby was not being harmed but it was cause for concern so I was put on strict bed rest. My next two ultrasounds still showed the clot but thankfully the baby was growing right on track. So that brings us to today, my Dr wants me to remain on bed rest so this will be the beginning of my fourth week. We had to hire a family member to come care for my 3 and 1 year old until my husband gets home. It has been an adjustment for sure but I can not say enough about the love and support I have from my husband and family. The children are doing well, I get plenty of snuggles throughout the day but still its hard not being able to take care of them like I would normally. I know in my heart that this is just a season of bed rest, and the most important thing is that this sweet baby boy is able to thrive in my womb. As far as the clot its a wait and see game; there is nothing I can really do other than rest. I see my Doctor every week and so I am hoping that next week we will start to see it decrease. Most important is that the baby is growing right on track!
Transfer Day is tomorrow
Hello! well it’s finally arrived, it’s the night before my transfer and it still doesn’t seem real. Lets back up to last thursday when I started my injections. I had a lot of build up anxiety about doing injections twice a day and now the day had finally arrived and there was no going back. As the nurse brought in the little basket of medication my mind was racing, she laid everything out on the table for me and we began to talk about what my new daily routine would be. I had already been taking a few different types of pills and vitamins for two weeks but now the really fun began. She showed me the needle and it looked huge, a whole 1 1/2 inches that I was to inject myself or have someone else do; well after we talked she shortly realized I could use a 1 inch needle do to the fact that I am very slender. That was the best news so far, what a relief! She administered the shot and it hurt but it was over before I realized she was doing it. I was lucky enough to have a dear friend of mine who said she would help me with my nighttime injection and she did my shot that night and it went great. The next morning came so fast and here I was standing in front of my needles and medication. I took forever to prep everything but my friend had told me to just slowing push the needle in and that’s what I did and honestly everything I had built up in my mind was horrendous. The needle went right in and I barely felt it, I did it! I felt good, accomplished and slightly silly that I had worked myself up so much. Fast forward 5 days and I still take a bit to prep but I just do it and get it over with. The main thing I have been dealing with is the soreness, the first few days where pretty bad, but I have a heating pad now and though I am still sore all day I can manage it and go along with life as normal. Tomorrow I go in at 11:15am for my transfer, my Dr. will transfer one excellent quality boy embryo and I could not be more ready and just plan excited. This has been nearly a year in the making, as last June is when I started to research and look into agencies as I knew I wanted to follow the desire on my heart to become a surrogate. I have a peace about the proceadure and I just pray that I am able to become pregnant, my sweet couple is so loving and so deserving of this precious boy so wish me luck 🙂
The start of MEDS!
I am so happy to announce that I am finally on my medications! My period was due to start on the 24th of April and of course it did not show up until 5 days later. That week was so hard as I just had to wait, what a lesson in control right?! I am starting to recognize a theme in my journey, things take TIME. I often find myself always looking for the next thing, this is such a great reminder for me to really enjoy this season that I am in, everything comes to pass eventually! So I called my IVF Doctor and I was scheduled to come in the next day. I arrive and he did a very quick ultrasound to make sure my uterus look great and he said everything was “perfect”. I felt like I took more time waiting and undressing and redressing than the actual appointment. The nurse came in and we went over the medication that I was to start that day, and she told me that if everything goes as planned I will transfer MAY 18th 🙂 I felt such joy, excitement and anticipation its really happening. I sent a text to my lovely IP’s and they are so excited, makes me feel good and though we have not met in person yet I felt closer to them. The medication I am on now is just pill form, I take them in the morning and at night, this thursday I will go back to see my IVF dr and he will check to make sure my body is responding accordingly. Fingers crossed and prayers sent that we are off to a great start, I feel in my heart we are though!
Contracts are finally done!
Well hello, I know its been a while but unfortunately I have not had very much to write about. After over three weeks I received my first draft for my contract. I had so many emotions and thankfully I was able to jump right in and read it, all 35 pages. It was very straight forward and I had no surprises but I read it again later that night to make sure I was understanding everything. I called my attorneys office and we set up a meeting to go over it just two days later. I love my attorney, he was so professional and knowledgeable, I know I am in good hands. Then the next morning my husband and I went to get the document notarized. I was so excited to send it back that I literally could not sleep Sunday night..haha I went and faxed it just before 6am Monday morning! When I pushed the fax button I realized all of this waiting, anticipating, energy, nervousness, excitement was leading up to this very moment. This was the real deal, no going back so to speak, only steps forward to help a family get one step closer to bring their sweet baby into this world. I was matched right before Christmas of 2014 and now early April 2015 screening are finished and the contract is signed.
So now what…now we begin the process of getting my body ready for transfer day. As it stands today I am waiting for my cycle to begin (which should start around the 24th of April). Once I start I go to see my IVF Dr. two day after, there I will have an ultrasound and be placed on my meds. During this time leading up to now I have continued contact with my IP’s weekly, I grow to love them more and more and my excitement of course is overflowing now that I know its just a week away or so until we really get things moving for this lovely family.
Almost but not quite
Just wanted to give an update as its been a little while. I am currently waiting for my IPs to finalize their choice of attorney, and its taking a little while because the attorney it out on vacation, lucky them right?! In the meantime I have been able to email my IPs and we have had great conversation and I feel I am getting a sense of who they are by every email. I enjoy this part of the journey, in fact it is the best part in my opinion. I think its amazing that out of all the people I was matched with this lovely couple and family. I have a lot to learn from them as they come from a different culture than I; its really amazing that such a unique experience can bring two different families together as one. I look forward to when I can tell my three year old about them. We have decided to wait to tell her anything until I am pregnant and most likely out of my first trimester. She has no really concept of time yet and I know she will be very accepting of what I am doing. Her nature is independent but she loves deep. So I am hoping to hear from my coordinator within the week and then I can choose my attorney so we can start contracts. I am in no rush and take each day as it comes, I have two children of my own to care for so I stay quite busy, but I am getting excited to know we are almost finished with the “paper work” and getting closer to transfer day!
Short but sweet
Today I had my medical exam, the clinic is a 45 min drive away and its blocks from the beach. My mother in law was able to watch the kids so I had a nice quiet drive. Before I left Avayah kept telling me that she would miss me and was going to cry without me. I love how sweet she is and how close we are; I just told her I had to go but that I would be right back, set her up with some fruit snacks and her “special milk” aka chocolate milk and she watched one of her shows. The baby has been sick so I laid him down and he slept most of the time I was gone. When I arrived there I filled out some paper work and was seen within 15 mins. I met with Dr. Anderson and he was welcoming, straight to the point and seems easy-going. He told me what I could expect for today and also what would follow as far as medications leading up to transfer. I had a basic physical exam and then he check my uterus, took a few pictures and told me everything looked great, I had a perfect uterus. I have to admit I got a little nauseas seeing my uterus on the monitor but I was relieved that everything was completely normal. So now we just wait for the blood test and after we get the green light I can begin the various medications. Just one step closer now and everyday I fee like this is all becoming so real, I am ready and excited!
Waiting and anticipating
So I have officially been match a week but I am waiting for my intended parents to finish up some paper work for the agency so then we can schedule my medical and psychological appointments. During this time I do not have their contact info so I have really just been thinking and praying for them a lot. In the meantime really enjoy the Surrogate group that I joined on Facebook, I have become friends with a few ladies and we are constantley updating each other on our progress and our story thus far. This group of women are amazing, they come from all over the country; some are just joining the group for information and other are on their fourth journey or more. There is so much information to soak up and experiences to reflect on and I am so blessed to apart of this world. I not only find support from the group but from my agency. I have had the most amazing, loving, and professional experience with my agency. I felt welcome from day one, and they made me feel like I was the only surrogate they were working for. I worked with a surrogate case manager, then an intended parent coordinator and now I am with my coordinator who will be with me for this entire journey. I can not say enough about my coordinator, she is sweet, we can laugh together and she is so informative and prompt. I am in good hands both with the agency and with my intended parents. Waiting can be hard but then I just have such a peace about this whole journey and what I am called to do, what I feel is on my heart and its such a strong desire of mine to help this sweet family. I read a quote today that really spoke to me, and it said, “You have never really lived until you have done something for someone who can never repay you.”
We have a match!
I was out to coffee with a great friend of mine late on evening, it had been three business days since I was approved to be matched. I figured that after the Holidays I would hopefully hear something, but I checked my email that night when I got home and I had a message from my coordinator. My heart stopped, it was a couples profile and I knew from here on out things would never be the same. I was so nervous to read it, to see their picture and discover who they are. It was nothing that I was expecting but as I read I couldn’t help but find small similarities between us. One particular part brought tears to my eyes, wow this was such a lovely couple and I could not wait to find out more. In the morning I called my coordinator and he informed me that the couple was out on Vacation for Christmas and would return the Monday after Christmas so he could confirm with me that they liked my profile then. Can you guess what I did next? I waited some more… this is something that comes with the territory but thankfully I had the Holidays to keep my mind busy. That Monday morning I got an emailing from my coordinator saying that the couple were so thrilled that I liked their profile and that I wanted to talk on the phone; they thought I was a perfect match for what they are looking for in a surrogate! So now we scheduled a phone meeting for that Friday and I could hardly wait. The night before I took some time to gather my thoughts, write a few things down and said a prayer that both families would have a peace about working together. I got on the conference call with my coordinator and the intended mother, we said our hellos and it was so nice to hear her gentle sweet voice. Right away the intended father thanked me for my willingness to carry their baby. I felt an immense sense of love, support and genuineness right away even within the first few minutes of our conversation. We talked for an hour, the conversation flowed, we were all on the same page, we shared laughs and I can honestly say I feel this is the couple for me. They cherish their family, and understand the importence of life, love and community. I am beyond blessed and honored to help this family bring forth a baby.
The ball is rolling
In June of 2014 Jacob and I started to really talk about the steps we would need to do in order for me to become a surrogate mother. I got in touch with a local professional agency and had been emailing back and forth to get more information on the process. Since I had just had our son in March we wanted to wait about 6 months before we actually turned in my profile. This would give me time to really dive into the surrogate world and to do some heavy research on my own. One of the things i did was to joined a surrogate mothers group on Facebook, I felt like I could really get a sense of what it was like to be a surrogate, and let me tell you I totally did! I saw the good, bad and the ugly, it was so informative. I befriend several experienced surrogates or “surro’s” as they call themselves. I emailed them questions and tried to soak up as much as I could, soon I felt comfortable enough to start posting in the group, which was super fun to get all sorts of advice, tips and hear different experiences. My involvement thus far has been so welcoming, the ladies are full of great insight and are supportive but real. I love this new world and I am so excited that I get to be apart of it!
In late November I submitted my profile to my agency. “Wow, here we go, it’s actually happening” is all I could think. The first step was to get my medical records. I felt like a crazy lady checking my email every hour in hopes that I would know something, but when I got the message less than a week later that they were in it started to feel real. The next step was to send them off to the IVF Doctor who would review them for approval. Once approved that I could medically carry a baby my agency could then start to share my profile with intended parents. I couldn’t help but think, “who are they”? “where do they live”? “what will their story be”? This part of becoming a surrogate mother is by far the most exciting to me, I desire the relationship between this special couple. To be able to walk through this together, knowing that I am helping a couple bring forth life is incredible and something that I treasure. My approval took one week and let me tell you it felt like the longest week ever but now I was one step closer to being matched. I anticipated that this next chapter could very well be the longest wait, as the agency will being showing my profile to intended parents who they feel would be a good match for me and me for them. I was told that an average wait period was anywhere from a couple of weeks to a couple of months. It is important to me that I am matched with the right couple and so waiting though it may be hard, it will definitely be worth the wait.
My heart to become a surrogate
The thought of becoming a surrogate mother started when I was pregnant with my first baby. Jacob and I had been married four years and we decided to try for a baby. Frankly, I wanted a family right away but I am truly thankful we waited. I remember the day so well, its a moment I will never forget that still brings joy to my heart. I was standing in the kitchen making breakfast for Jacob before work. I was a day late for my period and I thought to myself, “could I really be pregnant”? I was so anxious and decided to take the test I had bought. I sat there with such anticipation as it filled a line appeared and then another; I blinked hard several times, oh my I was pregnant! I stared crying and quickly went into the room where Jacob was and placed the test on the desk in front of him. He picks it up and says, “Is this a joke”! Haha We were both in shock, it had only been one month of trying and we were going to have a baby, we were going to be a family.
Through all the joys of announcing we were pregnant, to starting to show, to feeling our baby kick I couldn’t help but think of two of my girlfriends who were having trouble conceiving. I was there to show love and support and to encourage them that it was only a matter of time, but when months turned into years it was heartbreaking to not know “why” they could not have a baby. I began to have a desire to become a surrogate mother and starting researching and praying about this opportunity. For those who know me well it was not a surprise, I have a heart to love and to show love. This is such an act of selflessness and after all that is what love is all about, putting others before yourself.
So for the past three years now I have had it on my heart to become a surrogate mother, and now that our family is complete I want to help another family feel the same way. I don’t know what to expect, but I do know that this experience will forever change me. Children are a gift from the Lord and its an honor to be a parent. I want to help a family be able to experience what Jacob and I have experienced with our children which is pure joy and a unwavering love.
The Sparrows Surrogacy Journey 